I frequently am plagued with low quality SEO enquiries by shall we say, people that lack common sense and maybe intelligence. Take this one from today: (Have transcribed telephone call)

Potential Non client: Hi, I’d like you to take my two property websites, optimise them and make them rank good and stuff.

Me: (alright know that this is a waste of time) Hi, err, ok, can I have the URL’s?

Potential Non client: What’s a URL?

Me: The website addresses…

Potential Non client: oh, it’s www.number78.co.uk & www.norwich-apartment.co.uk

Me: (looks) erm, they are the same site on two different addresses, you have a duplicate content problem.

Potential Non client: What’s duplicate content

Me: (sighs) When you have the same version of a website multiple times Google doesn’t like it, you either need to re-write one of your sites or put them together (couldn’t be arsed to explain what a 301 is at this stage)

Potential Non client: Hmmmm – Well, I’ve paid for two names, so that’s not really an option at this stage and I’ve paid my website boy to put it up twice at an additional costs. Also, I have no time to do any writing.

Me: Are you a businessman?

Potential Non client: What?

Me: Are you a businessman?

Potential Non client: I’d like to think so, why do you ask?

Me: Because you have the brain of a lizard.

Me: (Puts phone down).

And that’s how you take a client on. Not.

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